Holidays have a way of bringing out strong emotions in divorced couples as it relates to their children. And often, those emotions may turn into conflict if parents can’t agree on who should have the children and for how long.
In some circumstances, divorced parents may decide to spend the holidays together with their children. We think it’s important for you to understand some of the benefits and drawbacks of this type of arrangement.
Benefits of Divorced Parents Spending The Holidays Together With Their Kids
Some of the benefits of this time sharing arrangement include:
- Less Holiday Conflict – Instead of fighting about what time one parent will drop off the child for the holidays, or instead of one parent feeling angry because the child is not going to be present at a holiday celebration, sharing the day with the other parent can lessen conflict and increase harmony.
- Fosters Future Cooperation – Divorced parents who are able to share the holidays together with their children can set the standard for future compromises in the time sharing agreement.
- Provides Security For Children – Children can get a sense of well-being and security when they see their parents spending time with them together during the holidays. As long as parents help their children to understandthat they are not reconciling the marriage, the children can feel a sense of comfort and security by spending the holiday with both parents.
Drawbacks of Divorced Parents Spending TheHolidays Together
Some of the drawbacks of parents spending the holidays together with their childrenmay include:
- Kids May Think Their Parents Are Reconciling The Marriage– Seeing their parents spending time together with them at the holidays may lead children to believethat their parents are reconciling the marriage. As a result, children may become disappointed, angry or upset when they realize that the imagined reconciliation was only for the holiday.
- Parents May Fight– One of the risks of divorced parents spending holidays together with their children is that one wrong statement may trigger a fight about old issues and disrupt the holiday celebration. In fact, teenagers of a divorce are more likely to veto spending a holiday with both parents because they fear that one parent will say or do something that makes the situation tense and uncomfortable.
If you are in a time sharing situation that has gone well, and you have built a strong foundation of mutual respect with your former spouse, then spending the holidays together with your children may be a good idea. Otherwise, creating a specific holiday time sharing schedule may be a better option.
Finding An Advocate
Successful time sharing requires patience, cooperation and discipline, the same qualities necessary to achieve a fair resolution in a divorce. If you are going through a divorce, please call The Law Office of Eric C. Cheshire to schedule a confidential consultation.