The decision to divorce may cause a great deal of emotional pain for both the husband and the wife even if it’s the best choice for both parties.
It can be an ordeal for everyone involved, and it’s important that parents do everything possible when protecting children emotionally from the impact of divorce on children.
The effects of divorce on children may include long-term emotional damage if steps aren’t taken to protect the well-being of the child through this difficult time. Fortunately, there are several steps you can take when protecting children emotionally and get through the divorce while remaining emotionally sound.
Prepare Them With Knowledge:
It’s important that both parents sit down together to explain the impending divorce to their children. Use age-appropriate words to make sure your children understand that they are in no way at fault for the divorce, they will still have access to both parents and everyone is going to work together to strive for a happier future. Books are available to help your children understand, and you should not hesitate to seek help from your church or a therapist familiar with issues regarding divorce and children.
Never Ask a Child to Choose:
One of the biggest ways in protecting children emotionally is to never ask a child which parent they want to live with. Especially with younger children. Unless you have older teenage children, you should never ask your child which parent they want to live with. It’s up to you and your spouse to determine which parent should have primary custody of the child. As your children get older, it’s okay to ask their input.
Keep a Civil Tongue:
If you and your spouse are experiencing an ugly divorce, you must never say a bad word about your spouse in front of your child. You must remember that your spouse is your child’s other parent, and it will make the child feel bad about himself and insecure if you paint the other parent in a bad light. Read more about Parent Alienation Syndrome
Make Visits Nice:
During the separation before the divorce, your children will have the opportunity to see what visiting their other parent is like. Don’t give in to the urge to spoil your child during these visits, but make things as normal and secure as possible. Each parent needs to make sure their child has a room that contains comfort items, and it’s more important than ever to spend one-on-one time with your child during these visits.
Don’t Involve Children in Problems:
Children should never be involved by the problems that occur during a divorce. For example, never send a message with your child to tell his father that he is late on child support, and don’t let your child know that you can’t afford something because of the divorce settlement.
Let Your Love Lead You
Parents who allow their love for their children to be the most important issue when preparing for a divorce will be able to make decisions that are good for everyone. Follow these few tips, and you are sure to raise happy and healthy children who aren’t adversely affected by your divorce.
The goal is to divorce your spouse, but not damage the relationship that your children can have with both parents. It is possible and we’ve seen it happen. But it will take work. If your spouse is not following these steps, there isn’t much you can do. We encourage you to not fall into the trap to mudslinging. After all, that’s childish.
Attorney Cheshire has dedicated his work to helping couples reach a divorce settlement while maintaining their sanity. If you’d like to have a referral for a therapist to talk to during this time for you and your children, please call us at 561-295-3693.